Once, after drinking half a bottle of port behind a mechanics garage in Halifax, my advertising agency creative director took me to the bookstore to buy a copy of Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It was her favourite book and she felt compelled to give it to me, knowing that I would just love it, which I did, devouring it like, well, a bottle of port behind a mechanics garage in Halifax. I have never forgotten that (damn good port, damn good book, damn good deed).
So, I have taken to leaving behind books and magazines on purpose, hoping they will find their way to someone who just needs it. I often wonder if I have made a difference in the finders life somehow. Perhaps some tidbit of wisdom from page 213 compelled him to create a new life as a tattoo artist in Tahiti. Or an inspirational photo of yam fries with miso gravy from page 14 compelled her to finally ask Jo over for dinner, leading to a life happily ever after. I believe my leave-behinds only do good, spreading subliminal messages like that sweet angel whispering in your ear.
Imagine my delight when I found a little leave-behind had been left behind for me. Imagine my intrigue when I realize this magazine was Out. As in Out of the closet.
Of course, I can't just leave it there. I have to read it. What page will my muse come from? What line of fate will be tempting me? I took the magazine on holiday and one evening I read it page by page while the kids were watching cartoons and my husband was reading about US Marine snipers.
Muse? Inspiration? The only thing that jumped out at me were the words- velvet, penis, pleasure, queer, erotic, artist, brave, change, spank. Hmmm. Not quite what I was looking for.
Until I found it. Page 91. Michael Musto to Gore Vidal: "Were you always out?" Vidal to Musto: "I was never in."
Now there is a strong statement that makes you think. What has always been an integral part of the public me? What is in my life that I have kept hidden, unexposed, or at least not presented in its fullest potential? Hmmmmm...damn good question. Pass the port and let's chat about it.