The End and The Beginning

Grab a tea, pull up a chair, get cozy! For those of you who have been following along for the last 12 months, you will know my Year of Turning 40 is coming to an end. And what a year it has been, the last six months especially. The blog post is about putting some closure to this year so I can free up some space for the new year to enter. Here goes . . .

On Friday June 17, the day before my big 4-0 day, a few hours before I was to head out with a few dozen work friends for a sushi birthday celebration, I received an urgent meeting request from my boss. Long story short, I received my first birthday present - a choice between the opportunity of staying with the organization in a new job or the opportunity of leaving the organization to do, well, whatever I wanted.

To be straight, I loved my work, especially the people I worked with. But there were aspects of my job that just didn't fit with me any more, especially not the family and creative part of me. After a thoughtful weekend I gave my answer Monday morning. I was leaving.

Here is what I wrote on Facebook that day at 4:43 pm. "Poured tea, read Dwell magazine's beach home issue, hot tub for lunch, went for a walk, talked to a few friends, picked up Kje from school. Doing okay."

It is a big thing to turn 40. It is a big thing to leave the work and work-family you love. It is a big thing to sit at home and do nothing but read a magazine, drink tea and wait for what comes next.

I have postponed writing this post for a few reasons, but primarily because I wanted to wait until I had some perspective and could write something profound about what came next. The truth is, change is a journey and six months later I am still waiting for what comes next and still don't have anything profound to say about it all.  What I do have to say it that I am grateful for the opportunity to leave the day-to-day of working for someone else and embrace the every day of being myself, in every moment, in every little way. I am rediscovering who I am without the shell of work getting in the way. Here are a few of the every day little things that shaped me and my last six months:

• Writing a 50,000-word novel in 20 days and then four months later reading it and liking what I created. 
• Spending the beginning of the summer living with my son Paris in our own borrowed Penthouse Suite (thank you again Anna for being so generous with your sanctuary!)
• Mixing it up with DJ Jonnycat, Stray Cats, CCR, and the banjo in the mini van on our BC Summer Road Trip. Gold mines. Horse rides. Log flumes. Beach reads. Ahhhh . . .
• Hanging with the boys and Mom and Dad at the cabin on Shuswap.
• Spending every day with my husband and still continuing our tradition of hot tub happy hours, even though I no longer needed to vent "after work".
• Spending every day, all day, with my husband and still enjoying his company. :)
• Packing it up at one o'clock to hit the lake for a summer swim and relaxing float on the mattress. Bliss.
• Walking my son Kje to school. Picking him up. After school snack. Homework. Nice Routine.
• Volunteering at the school library and having my favourite student ask me every week to help her find a book, and then hug me after I found "the perfect one".
• Texting with Paris while he was in school and helping him with his homework via Skype.
• Starting my business. Getting my first contract. Finishing my first contract (well, almost).
• Spending time on the phone with family and friends engaged in relaxed conversations.
• Waking up and putting on jeans and a t-shirt every day.
• Making lunch at home.
• TED once a week. Thank you TED.
• Listening to CBC programs like Canada Live and Q with Jian Ghomeshi.
• Enjoying the morning sunlight.
• Reading in the day time between 9 and 5. In bed. In my pyjamas.
• Becoming comfortable saying I am a consultant, contractor, writer and photographer, not an ADM.
• Writing and sending out a whole bunch of story proposals.
• Going for 3 hour walks around Elk Lake in the middle of a work day.
• Connecting with my work friends and turning them into friend friends.

So, Turning 40. A great year packed with tons of intense moments and lasting memories. I started the year saying I was going to do anything and everything I wanted and pay for the fun when I was 41. And yes, for the first six months that was true. I grabbed life, heaved it over my shoulders and took it for a ride. But the last six months have been about putting life down and curling up with a it and a good book. Slowing down. Doing less. Simplifying. Enjoying my family. Enjoying what I have. Enjoying routines and local connections. Being here in the moment. But more importantly, creating a new base from which I could  head into the next decade. And with that . . . off I go.

Bookworm, Just Like Mom

Thank you Mom. Thank you so much for reading, and helping me fall in love with words, sentences and stories.

Fiction, non-fiction, books, magazines, poetry, graffiti, newspapers, letters, emails, whatever.

Thank you for taking me to the Burnaby Public Library when I was little and getting me my own library card. I remember you telling me how important is was to have my own card. My own signature on it. Thank you for encouraging me to join the summer reading club. I can still visualize the list I wrote of all the books I read that summer. Thank you for sharing the yellow loveseat at home with me - you on one end reading your book and me the other side reading mine.

Thank you for volunteering at my elementary school library every week. I loved seeing you there and I love you for that. Thank you for having a bookshelf at home, and even though I kinda cringe at the Stephen King / Danielle Steele genre of books I used to devour (think Grade 8 here, folks, a long time ago) those books gave me the impetus to explore fiction of a better calibre once I gained my own literary consciousness. Perhaps most importantly, thank you for making the written word such a big part of your life, even now reading voraciously and continuing to volunteer at your community library, fixing and shelving books.

Because of you reading is a big part of my life. I love words because you showed me how to fall in love with them. It has shaped who I am. 

Today is for you.

I have always wanted to follow in your foot steps and volunteer at my son's library. Well, Paris is now in grade 12 and I kinda missed that boat. This is the last year of Kje in elementary school and my last chance. Also, it was one of those things on my Turning 40 list of things to do that make me happy. 

Today, at 12:15pm I walked into Kje's school library and there he was, checking out some books with the rest of his class. It was my first weekly shift as the volunteer librarian (well, more like volunteer book-shelver). He looked so happy to see me. All his friends came over to say hi, too.

It felt so good to start something I have wanted to do for so long. I stacked 521.3 between 521.2 and 523, and sorted primary books by last name SEU, MAU, DAH.

A blonde boy asked me to help him find a book on cars. We looked together. A cute girl in a pretty dress wanted a princess book but every time I found one for her she said “No, I don’t want that one.” I put books back in their place for lots of small hands. The whole thing made me smile.

Thanks Mom. I am already looking forward to next week.

Turning 40 for Real This Time

And yep, the big day was upon me. Not the birthday year, but the birthday day. Saturday night. June 18. Officially, the cake came out. Two candles. 4 on fire... 0 on fire... I only blew one out to prove I have a boyfriend... (well, actually I married him ten years ago, but I think that still counts).

The party was perfect - a backyard BBQ get together with family - complete with a few of my favourite things:

• My Family
• A special performance from two of my nieces as they danced to "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond...just for me!
• Punching balloons all around
• Barefoot kids running around chasing each other
• Riesling... a few glasses at that
• Christmas lights, patio lanterns, Chinese paper lamps and torch lights all over the backyard
• My very own PARTY TIME plastic shot-glass-around-the-neck necklace
• Pinata full of candy and toys for the kids to whack at
• Pinata full of candy and miniature liquor bottles for the adults to whack at
• Fire pit surrounded by deck chairs...perfect set up for great chats and lots of laughs all night long
• Adults eating candy and passing around mini bottles of Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey (tastes like heaven, burns like hell...)
• My brother's signature appetizer (my favourite) made from smoked salmon, cream cheese and buckwheat crepes
• Cheese puffs and salt & vinegar chips (um... actually, don't really remember if there were any...)
• My Mom's famous lemon cake AND she made two!
• My sister-in-law's famous chocolate flourless cake!
• Music... all my favourites, perfect backdrop
• Sparklers
• Dancing with Dad to an oldie but goodie
• A crazy white and red feather hat, wacky green sunglasses and a blue boa, just to remind me that I am 40 and my parent's daughter
• A light rain and warm, cozy sweaters to keep the chill out
• Pottery for my collection
• My very own sparkly, twirly baton with tassels
• Hugs and kisses from everyone

The best present was that I didn't have to organize anything, decorate anything, cook anything, clean anything or drive myself home. Ah..... bliss.

So, did I feel any older?  My son Paris was my designated driver for the first time ever, so that was kinda weird and wonderful at the same time and yes, while sitting in the back seat I did reflect on the fact that at one time, a long long time ago, he was just learning to walk and now he's driving and that transformation doesn't happen overnight.  But after celebrating my birthday year for six months and 17 days already, the actual day felt a bit like a water station half way through a marathon (not that I have ever run a marathon or plan to, but you get the point, right?).

It was just a day to celebrate all that has been and all that will be. And what a perfect way to do that! And so.... on to the rest of my Turning 40 year. This is when the fun really begins...

Pop the Glock

Yep, that's right. Time for another 40 birthday party away from home. This time, Vegas!

My friend Rob wanted his "over the hill" party in Vegas, complete with late night blackjack, beer buckets at the pool, 60 oz football beer from Fremont Street and succulent scallops at Mon Ami Gabi. And in true Vegas style, only in the U S of A, he wanted to shoot some guns.

So in the spirit of "doing what I want, when I want and paying for the fun when I'm 41" hubby and I were in. In for Vegas. And not just Vegas, but in for Paris, Vegas. In for football beer. In for beer buckets at the pool (actually we were in for enough beer buckets and chi chi's that our pool bill almost matched our hotel room bill). And of course, we were in for the Uzi, the Glock and the M249 SAW.

Despite being a west coast peace & love kinda gal, I must admit I was actually a bit intrigued and excited about doing something in Vegas worthy of a milestone birthday.  Something I normally wouldn't do at home (not that I wake up every Saturday and hang by the diving board with tropical drinks and beer buckets). And shooting an AK47 sounded more my style than well... getting married at the Elvis chapel or hiring a few hookers for the night or squeezing my body into a teeny-tiny tube dress and 4 inch heels to line up for hours in front of one of the exclusive nightclubs.Wait, let me rethink that.... Na, Elvis would win...

Whatever. Here's the deal. You are greeted at the door with a menu outlining your "gun rental" choices. The World War II Package. The Zombie Package. The Ladies Package (guns painted pink) or for the connoisseur, the Shoot the Wall Package including 11 different machine guns. The one that blew me away (pardon the pun) was the Kids Package complete with a souvenier THE GUN STORE t-shirt. Have these guys not heard of Columbine?

You then head inside the bunker-style concrete building to pick up your ammo and targets and pay before lining up for almost two hours.

I selected the full size AK47 and the Glock 19. And yes, it feels odd to be able to say that as smoothly and easily as mentioning I sipped a cup of chai tea before yoga this morning.

So we all shot our targets and it was loud and noisy and we laughed at ourselves and our big guns and all the ammo shells on the floor. It was quite surreal.

On another note, have you seen the movie It, based on the Stephen King book about a sadistic clown? It was one of the scariest books/movies I have ever read/seen in my life. Let's just say I took great satisfaction in selecting my "Pennywise the clown" target and shooting it dead in the heart multiple times. And yes ladies, I got it dead centre in the "Pennywise package"...in the crotch... in one shot. (This is when I blow my proverbial smoking gun...)
 
Turns out I'm quite a steady hand on that Glock. Who knew?

And photos:

Should I pick the Zombie package?

Up-sell and cross-sell: Try a rifle, pistol or shotgun

 

















Accessorize with Ammo

 

Target Practice

Yep, that's me and Pennywise. A bit blurry...

Aftermath

PS. Dear all future employers and friends. Please disregard above.

Grrls Weekend with Superwoman and Rihanna

12 women, San Jose, Turning 40 birthday party for my high school friend Oriana.

Let's just say there was the usual stuff you would expect at a grrls weekend away - wine, main street shopping, feather extensions, vintage clothing, shot glasses, wine bar, heels and way too many cameras and laughs. So, in the spirit of blogging about Turning 40 - the good, the bad, the ugly - let's just skip to the part you may not expect, or at least I didn't.

We ended up going to Asia SF, a San Francisco Transgender Bar that claims to have the "Ultimate San Francisco Experience." Their website also claims "you'll never forget your birthday at AsiaSF." You can say that again!

The "dinner & a show" evening started as an entertaining experience upstairs, complete with incredibly beautiful transgender women serving dinner and drinks (think sautéed Pacific salmon, finished with a miso glaze, served over black “forbidden” rice with a sweet tomato-edamame salad and Truffled Soba Noodles - grilled portobello mushroom, asparagus slices, tossed with cool sesame soba noodles, white truffle oil & sweet tomatoes plus mini ice cream cones for dessert). After each course the waitresses would put on a new outfit and jump up on the runway bar for a tease dance act. Think Transgender Superwoman singing "I Will Survive" while pretending to whip those sitting on the bar stools.

After three courses and six dances and lots of pondering over how he became she, we all headed to the downstairs dance club to shake our booty. Little did we know the tease dances continued downstairs with a bit more flair.... including well, um.... the dancers touching the brides-to-be out for their stagette, um... up there and um... down there under the clothes and over the naughty places. Hmmm...now there is something I haven't seen in my 4D years.

Let's just say I was glad Oriana wasn't there for her bridal stagette, we didn't stay too long and everytime I hear Rihanna sing  "I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. ... whips and chains excite me" I need to change the channel.  




On another note, here are a few quick pics from the weekend loot bag.

Whooosh Goes Mom and Me

Sometimes, you just need a little mother daughter time.

And when you are hitting a milestone like turning 40, mother daughter time climbs to the top of the list. It was definitely near the top of mine. Fortunately, I had the perfect excuse to whisk Mom away for a weekend of living in San Francisco.

You see, my cousin Shauneen recently launched a new organic tea company, Far Out Flying Saucer Teas. In the spirit of doing "what I want, when I want, and I will pay for the fun when I am 41" I thought it would be super fun to surprise Shauneen by showing up at her official launch party in San Fran.  Which led me to calling Mom, who signed on immediately.

Little did I know that we would get two weeks notice of the launch party. Lickety-split, plane tickets were bought and we were standing in Union Square in front of the historic Westin St. Francis, our home for the next three nights.

The next morning we explored. We walked through Chinatown, talked while climbing to Coit Tower, walked down Filberg Street, talked to chatty strangers, until finally we caught a cable car through Russian Hill (one of the "Original Seven" of 44 hills) back to Market Street, where we bumped into the St. Patrick's Day Festival and Parade. One of the great things about walking and talking down Market Street in the opposite direction as the parade is moving is that you see the highland dancers, firetrucks, marching bands and green-clad revelers twice as fast. Twice as nice. Whoooosh.

Next - tea time! The official Far Out Flying Saucer launch party was, well... quite literally a tea party. For some reason I thought media, crowds and fireworks!! Alas, when we showed up I realized it was a quiet, private gathering for 30 or so family friends. Albeit the function was held in a captivating contemporary home with floor to ceiling window and awe-inspiring views (um, hello.... can I stay here forever???) and the tea tasting and food offering was impressive enough to rival the Fairmont Empress Hotel's $51 afternoon tea service. Ornate china tea cups, fancy crustless salmon sandwiches, and very, very respectful conversation with very, very respectable company. Heck, even caviar was served.

Afternoon tea was followed by an evening of Thai, accompanied by a few glasses of wine and I must admit, it felt so great to be devouring good food, engaging in interesting conversations with interesting people, making new friends ("you know, you just have to stay with us when you get to Victoria...."), slightly tipsy, living minute by minute, feeling like a jet setter! Then whoooosh..... into the car, surrounded by black leather, over the bridge, warm air through my hair, door to door drop off at our swanky hotel courtesy of my uncle and voila! We are living the party life!

Ah...... mother daughter time is sooo good!

On Saturday, we were picked up by my aunt and uncle and whisked to a funky cafe for breakfast before being toured through Golden Gate park. Then, whooooosh... kisses and hugs and they were off up the coast while we lingered  in the AIDS Memorial Grove for a thoughtful moment before heading towards Haight Street. 

Backtrack. When I was 13, I really, really, really wanted to get my ears pierced. I begged, I pleaded. Finally, at the age of 16 I was granted permission and off I went with Mom to Merle Norman. Ironically, over the years, wearing earrings  became a bit of a chore (especially those dangly beaded ones that caught on frickin' everything and let's not even talk about the kids yanking on those silver hoops) and my holes kinda grew over. But... that all changed when mom and I were walking and talking into hippy history and proceeded to walk impromptu into a painted red tattoo parlor on Haight Street to get my ears re-pierced. This place was more tattoos, nose rings, body piercings and dermal punch than Merle Norman 80's sea green eyeshadow (which, by the way, is sooo back in style, according to their website) but $24 bucks and a few minutes later, voila, I am 16 again with pretty stainless steel hoops through my lobes!! 

(And no, I wasn't even tempted to get a tattoo... perhaps at 50.)

I think you are getting the point about the trip. Whiz bang, here. Whoosh, voila, there! Pasta, pesto, eggs and toast, Pinot Gris, slow down art in the park, DSW, Macy's, hustle through H&M, Sephora, whoooaaaaa deeep conversations with my cousin, *blink* quiet reading in our hotel room, taxi here, drop in there, coffee in the lounge, walk and talk and then pack her up, check out, load em in, check in and......... wait, wait, wait to head home via SFO.

Whew....... how can you pack so much goodness into one little bitty caviar-sized weekend away? Like 40 distinct and memorable experiences into 40 waking hours in Wonderland.

Thanks Mom. That was just what I needed. A perfect weekend to tick off on my Turning 40 to do list. Let's not wait so many years before we... whoooosh.... take off together again. And yes, thanks for everything in the last four decades.

Just 40 more hours to 40

Eeek... the big day is pressing upon me. Not that it's heavy or anything, but a birthday, like a looming deadline, is yet one more reminder of how much there is to do in life, and how little time there is.

Like this blog. I have committed to my friend Andy that I would blog about turning 40 this year. Hmmmm.... haven't blogged as much as expected. But, I've managed to jam tons of stuff into the last six months. (Which I will blog about sometime before I turn 41.... I promise!)

Soon, what are the big birthday plans?

I have three parties this weekend, of which one is to celebrate my birthday. My entire family is coming together Saturday night for a back yard BBQ party, complete with Pic-a-Pop and colourful lanterns hanging from the sky. We are going to pretend we are at a lake and it is summer time. I am going to drink black cherry pop, eat salt and vinegar chips and hopefully dance until the wee hours under my preferred version of strobe lights - old fashioned, old school patio lanterns.

To be honest, my family is organizing the whole thing so I don't really know what is going on. I get to show up. I kinda like that. Ah... time to enjoy the good things in life. (Just until the water bomb gets tossed my way then watch out... water fight is on!!!)

Friday night I am going to another 40th birthday party, which comes with fancy finger foods and a hipster DJ. Saturday afternoon I am going to a folk music festival that was organized by Paris at his local park.

On Sunday I get to reflect on the father's in my life. Which of course leads to reflecting on the mother's in my life.

Not a bad way to turn a corner. Or cross over. Attraversiamo. Or head down the other side of the hill. Or whatever other way you want to describe it.

Ready or not, here I come. Lordy lordy, I'm turning 40!

Top 15 Music over 40 years

Quite a while ago my son asked me to list the 15 most influential music albums in my life. I'm not sure why, but I didn't get around to it until today. I guess I thought it would make a good Turning 40 post. A retrospective of the last 40 years of my life. Here goes in chronological order (according to my brain, and not necessarily an album date):

1. Shaun Cassidy, 1977
This was my first and last major infatuation with a celebrity. I remember sitting in my bedroom, with its red shag carpet, looking at his debut Shaun Cassidy album cover for hours.  "Da Doo Ron Ron" was my favourite song, of course.

2. Quirky Song Collection,
While I can't recall the name of the album, I can still sing the songs, including "Who Put the Bomp (In the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp)", "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour (On the Bedpost Overnight?)", "Yakety Yak", "Seven Little Girls (Sitting in the Back Seat)", and "The Purple People Eater".

3. Bill Haley and the Comets
I thank my dad for this one. He really likes the America 50's rock and roll music and for quite a while I explored music during that time. "Shake, Rattle and Roll" and "Rock Around the Clock" were perfect songs to clean my bedroom to. This led me to Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, The Coasters, Ritchie Valens, Elvis Presley and others.

4. Elvis
Yep, I was a HUGE Elvis fan. Don't listen very much now, but still love "Blue Christmas" and "Jailhouse Rock".

5. The Beach Boys
First concert. I still remember being front row dancing with other young Beach Boys fans (just a few of us with hordes of older fans in the rows behind). Inspired the Gilby Freedom Bad Mother Fucker road trip to Malibu where I first unsuccessfully learned to surf. Greatest Hits Volume 1.

6. The Clash
Who hasn't been influenced by The Clash? Combat Rock. Bring back my black boots, ripped black tights, long black Batman t-shirt and plaid logger jacket. Major black eyeliner. Mosh pit.

(6A. Tiny shout out to the Stray Cats here as well for making a runner-up appearance.)

7. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Album: I Love Rock 'n' Roll. "Crimson and Clover" was the best song to sing along to driving down any old freekin' freedom highway when you first get your license and keys to any ole beat up 72 Toyota Corolla. "I Hate Myself for Loving You." No, I don't.....still love it!

8 . Collection, Sixties Music
You know, all those great songs they put in movies about the Vietnam war. Peace, love, granola stuff and those tough songs with helicopters in the background.

9.. The Doors
Ah... memories of The Doors. All of them fuzzy. Hazy. Something about sleeping under a dining room table..... While not necessarily live in the moment, it was nice groovin' to their Greatest Hits compilation.

10. Bob Marley
His best-known hits include "I Shot the Sheriff", "No Woman, No Cry", "Could You Be Loved", "One Love". All great, but for me, it was all about "Exodus". Over and over and over and over and over again. All the time. Legends has to be one of the best all around albums of all times.

(10a. Somewhere in here I have to shout out to Spirit of the West Save This House, for adding zest and life and fun to frickin' everything whenever I played them. They know how to liven up a west coast party! Still on the dance list...)

11. Depeche Mode
Album: Music for the Masses. Best. Concert. Ever. I still know every song off by heart. I lived and died by Depeche Mode, all shrouded in black and black and more black and some purple hair and vintage chic thrown in for colour.

12. Pixies
Just amazing music. Too hard to pick a fav album. Defining sounds that surrounded some defining moments in my life. I love the edge and clarity they brought to that time in my life.

(12a. Shout out to Sebadoh, Pavement, Dinosaur Jr. Helmet, Galaxy 500, Meet Daisy, Violent Femmes, Velvet Underground, Camper Van Beethoven and all other sounds that filled those "band days".)

13. Enya
Enya. The music I played for both my kids. The music I got married to. I still hum her in the quiet times.

14. Liz Phair.
Exile in Guyville. Great album. Fucking great album. Toughens you up. Makes you want to clean your house in your bra while smoking and drinking. And then tell everyone to go fuck themselves. Yep..... gotta love her!

15. Nirvana
I still get pissed that Nirvana isn't playing anymore. Nevermind.

Yep, music doesn't influence as much anymore. I am influenced more by other things, but it's still a part of my life. And heck, I still reserve the right to add 16 anytime in the next 40 years. Perhaps gypsy music or Public Access or Ben Harper, or .......

Our Family History

Okay, so my horoscope said something about not starting any new projects today, as I don't have time and will become overwhelmed. I think I read something about burnout....

Who am I to listen? I just hit send on what could end up being a rather large project.

For many years I have been intrigued by my family history, mostly because I just don't know very much about it. Most of my grandparents passed away when I was very young and I know very little about who they were. And my husband's family not only speaks another language (Czech) but their family records were lost when they escaped from communist controlled Czechoslovakia in 1978. Let's just say our collective history is pretty thin....

But this is the year "I will do anything and everything I want, and pay for the fun when I'm forty-one." And I decided this is the year I would document my family history... at least a bit of it...back to our great-grandparents. The "pay for it" will come next year when I will be too exhausted to research or write anything. But hopefully by that time I will have a neat bow tied around a tidy history book. And a huge grin on my face. And a shared history to offer my kids to help them understand their place in this world.

Burnout shmurnout. Bring it on! (Eeek....did I mention I also wanted to write a novel this year....oh god, what have I done??)

40 Tickets

So, while my Turning 40 friend Andi has a list of 13 things she wants to do this year, I want to keep my calendar full of a bunch of little things that make me happy in the moment. No, I did not start my 40th year buying 40 tickets.... but I did start it by charging a few more than usual and at this rate, I bet I will have collected 40 by the end of the year.

First up, two tickets to The Laramie Project, a play my friend Kyle Kushnir acted in. The story was about Matthew Shepard, who was gay and in 1998 was "beaten and left to die tied to a wire fence on a hillside in Laramie, Wyoming." He died six days later. Moving. Emotional. Impactful. I am so grateful for living in a gay-friendly town.

(p.s. This was my night out with Tony and did I mention we started the evening at a local pub playing music bingo from the 50's and 60's? If you ever want to feel younger, hit a neighbourhood pub in Victoria...)

Next up, two tickets to the Victoria Salmon Kings hockey game. This was my night out with Kje. Just me and him, hundreds of beavers, cubs and scouts, and thousands of Salmon Kings fans. Local hockey doesn't quite compare to the Vancouver Canucks, but heck, parking is free, there are never lineups in the washroom (and shorter lineups for beer), and Kje scored a free ticket to Butterfly Gardens (yet another ticket!). Tony was out of town so we ended the night with a giggly sleepover party at home - just the two of us. What more could you want in a Saturday night? Sunday in tropical Butterfly Gardens!

The Rickshaw was once a Chinese language kung-fu action movie theatre (how cool is that!) but in 2009 was transformed into a local music hall and warehouse space for artists. The third pair of tickets I bought was for my night out with Paris. We started in Zulu Records watching Lou Barlow of Sebadoh up close, acoustic and intimate, then made our way to the Rickshaw for the Sebadoh concert. Must admit I loved being part of the late-night indie rock scene, which transformed me back to my early twenties when I first started listening to Sebadoh, but loved even more being the cool Mom for the night. Yep, nice bumping into my friend Mikala, a.k.a. The Backstage Rider, who knows the band and helped with our "bought the t-shirt, met the band" memorable night.

Three nights of stellar entertainment. But the best part was spending time with my three boys and accompanying friends while we laughed so hard we spilt beer over our bingo cards, held hands in the dark and cried in our seats, threw pucks on the ice, shouted out song requests, danced until closing time, and made memories whee, whee, whee all the way home. If I do nothing this year but collect tickets for quality time with the people I love, I will be one exhausted, happy camper. (Which reminds me, I need to book my camping reservation...)

So...the fun didn't stop there. What other tickets did I buy? Plane tickets to San Francisco, Las Vegas, San Francisco (yep, times two...thank god for points) and Maui. Ski lift tickets for spring break. Also, concert tickets to see Pavement with Paris. But those are stories for another night. (All adds up to 31 tickets in total already...)

And yes, I did buy a lottery ticket (make that 32) to try to pay for it all. We only won $5 bucks.... which means my motto for the year, "Pay For The Fun When I'm 41," has been kicked into overdrive.

Turning 40: 10-40 Good Buddy

I admit it. 2010 wasn't the best year for me and my husband. Let's just say that the year started bad but ended well and I'll spare you 354 days of detail. (Oh, I can feel myself getting all tense just thinking about it.... hold on, I'm going to get a cup of soothing, mellowing organic herbal tea... ahhhh.... that's better.)

So, let's just jump ahead. I wanted this year, my year of turning 40, to start well and end weller, start up and go upper, start fresh and get fresher. With a little hi-ya! pow! karate kick to the head at that. First up, getting hubby and I a jump start on the fast-track to oooh-la-la and va-va-voom! Time to kick it back up a notch.

Thankfully, my mom and dad came to the rescue on Christmas Day when their present to us included a romantic weekend away for two plus babysitting plus a tin of roasted almonds plus a bottle of Baileys. Woohoo, we were set!

10-4 means "OK," "understood," and "affirmative;" 10-40 means "this is the year we have our 10 year wedding anniversary AND my 40th birthday and we are going to accept this present, drink our Baileys and have the best damn weekend we have had in over a year and nothing better screw it up!"

Affirmative.

We packed our mini van. We hit the store for too much cheese, dark chocolate, not-so-winter-ripe strawberries, a loaf of french bread and a pack of Canadian bacon (no, bacon is not an aphrodisiac but follow this... "Oooh, I la-la-love the idea of heading out for breakfast, but how about we heat up some ham and keep the sizzle in the sheets?") We drove up island and checked in January 14 for some storm watching.

We stayed at Middle Beach Lodge in Tofino, which I must admit was a perfect choice. First, the name Middle seemed an appropriate sign as I was officially wobbling on the brink of middle age. (There are various definitions for middle age, but having recently done my research I now see The Oxford English Dictionary states middle age is "... the period between early adulthood and old age, usually considered as the years from about 45 to 65". So there, I feel like I just added 5 years to my life. 10-4, indeed! If I had known that before we booked Tofino I would have picked the Long Beach Lodge as I now have a loooong way to go!)

The other reason Middle Beach Lodge was a perfect choice (besides their kick-ass bathtub inside cabin #49 and the en plein air bathtub on the deck) is their lodge. I must admit, I've never understood the whole appeal in the lodge vacation concept of sitting quietly in a large room with a bunch of other people sitting quietly. Why not just retreat to your private room and read Nathaniel Hawthorne there? But now, after having sat for hours in the room a writer and frequent visitor commented with "Ralph Lauren would be happy here," I completely understand the appeal of doing nothing in a room with a bunch of other lazy-ass people doing nothing with you. Add to that an expansive view of the rugged west coast shoreline, a spellbinding log fire, hot chocolate and warm cookies and hmmmmmm.......bliss.


You know you have hit middle age when you are just as happy sitting beside your husband in a room full of sleepy strangers as you are checking to see if any bacon bits were left between the sheets, if you get my drift, wink, wink.

There you have it. The start of the year of Turning 40. Minus a few details between Friday night check-in and Sunday afternoon check-out, of course (think rubber boots and crashing surf).

So, would spending a romantic weekend with my husband have made it to my list of 10 things to do within my fortieth year if I had made that list anyhow? 10-4.

Turning 40

Yep, this is the year I turn the big 4-D. The fabulous fore-oh. Four. Zero. 40. Not that birthdays are a big deal, but the turn of a decade is something to celebrate, don't ya think?

In my thirtieth birthday year, I delivered my second son at a home birth with the help of midwives (and my partner of course), took the year off from work, got married (oh my god, did I really play Celine Dion at our beach BBQ bonfire wedding???), sold my car (bought a mini motorhome), gave up our rental apartment behind Toys R Us, got married (oops, already mentioned that... loss of memory is a sign of getting older, like forty old) and drove away to Mexico.... stopping all over Western Canada, USA, France, Germany (Oktoberfest!!!) and the Czech Republic along the way.

I bought a red hot bikini and wore mini skirts on the beach. I got drunk in a bar in San Francisco and lost my wedding ring. Then found it. Then lost it again. (Losing things is another sign of age....sigh.) I swam in the Mississippi and the Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico and the Pacific. I swam close to alligators. I climbed into the Grand Canyon.

I played with my kids, Paris and Kje, every day, which was a rule. I was rescued off  Zipolite, a.k.a. "beach of the dead," by a sun-kissed surfer and drank coconut juice from free coconuts my husband climbed trees for and cut down with his machete. Did I mention the hammock? Ah.... the wake-up-when-the-sun-wants-you-to, barefoot good life.

Earlier this year, my friend Andy came up with an idea to create a list of 10 things we wanted to do within our fortieth year. I knew I wanted this year to really set the stage for the next decade, kinda like my thirtieth year did, so doing something big was in order. The problem was, whenever I thought of something I wanted to do, like a concert or a weekend away, it didn't seem big enough to put on a list, so I just went ahead and did it. I bought the tickets or booked the flight. Suddenly, three months have gone by and I have come to realize my big year will be full of a bunch of little things that make me happy. 

But the best little thing I have done so far is come up with my personal motto for the year:

"I will do anything and everything I want, and pay for the fun when I'm forty-one."

I kinda like that.

Fortunately for me, my supportive husband does too.

Last week, my friend Kim and I were talking about nudity. You know, like how cute kids are when they do silly things when they are young and naked and no care in the world if anyone sees their teenie-weenie peenie. She has a four-year-old boy, and the story goes, he was all into being naked around the house, (including starfish position standing in front of the living room window) and then one day he says to her:

"Today's the day I am going to eat my soup naked."

I love it!! How much fun is that?

So there you have it folks, my fortieth year. The year and I am going to fill my weeks and weekends with way too much to do. Or... not get out of bed at all. The year of living life, playing too hard, slowing down, creating memories, making connections and doing what I want, when I want, how I want, why I want, where I want, with who I want. I am going to jam in all those things I have always wanted to do... if I still want to do them of course....into 365 days, give or take. (It's my birthday year and I get to decide when it's over.)

This is the year of eating my soup naked.

Instead of sharing the full list with you now, I will start to blog about what I've been doing. But here's a few categories to give you a sense:

1. Family & Friends
2. Travel
3. Music
4. Photography
5. Parties
6. Health
7. Small stuff to make me smile

And there is one really, really big one for my favourite number:

8. Write a novel.

And with that start, more on Turning 40 later..... when I get back from the weekend party with friends in San Francisco.