Canditerian

Once upon a time I used to call myself a vegetarian. But really, I was the lowest of the low on that totem pole. I was a pescetarian - someone who eats fish. But really, I was a ovo-lacto-pescetarian, which means I ate eggs, milk products, and fish.

I found I had to defend my eating preferences to people all the time. I didn't really like that. I don't challenge you when you say you don't like tomatoes, do I? Nor do I get irate when I find out you don't like yams, which I adore. Eat and let eat, I say. Unfortunately, there are many a steak-eating arses out there who define themselves by the size of their steak knife and the shade of red from the blood dripping off it.

One day, I will tell you about the time I spent an entire weekend on a working dude ranch with the deli department managers from the Midwest division of Safeway, USA. These people make a living slicing meat thin.

Then, I came across a great plate of agnolotti with bits of chicken sauteed in olive oil and garlic sauce. It was actually part of my job to eat this, and after a few tries - hey Mikey, she likes it! Sshhhh...don't say that so loud.

I became a closet chicken eater. Boneless, skinless. Two words that describe my chicken of choice and also reflect back on my inability to tell anyone for the longest time. (To all of you in the closet out there for whatever reason, I understand!)

Now, 18 years later, my vegetarian ways have digressed to ovo-lacto-pesce-pollo.... heck, you can't add vegetarian to that.

I must admit I was thrilled when I heard about the word flexitarian, which I thought meant "you try to eat a vegetarian diet, but...oops...let it slip everyone once in a while and eat what you want, when you want." Basically, a picky eater. But it is a bit more limited than that, and I don't think I apply.

All I can say is thank goodness for kids. My younger son looked up at me today and said, "Canditerian."

He then giggled.

"Canditerian, canditerian, canditerian."

I don't know what brought it on, we weren't even talking about food, but out of the blue he decided he was a canditerian.

I think I am going to use that one from now on. It might be a bit easier to explain.

Forget about the steak and potatoes, pass the lollipop and licorice.